A Very Special Place
My first encounter with cancer came out of the blue when I was 28 and a few weeks away from my wedding!
I’d had a niggling discomfort, bloated tummy and an urgency to jump up in the morning for the loo. I could feel something unusual in my lower tummy and thought I’d get it checked.
An ultrasound showed Ovarian cysts. I was very calm and more concerned that the wedding I’d been waiting 7 years for would be affected. 3 days after our wedding I had a radical hysterectomy, it was very traumatic! I was devastated. Thankfully, I wouldn’t need chemo but they would keep a close eye on me.
For 23 years life returned to normal.
Then in 2017 I mentioned my annoying cough to a friend who made me promise to go to the doctor. When working with young children you usually pick up their colds but I noticed that the cough was now lingering and could be very harsh.
As is often the case, the GP said, “There’s a lot of it around, come back if it doesn’t get better”. Two more visits and antibiotics later it was getting worse. A frustrated, grumpy, coughing and spluttering me was finally sent for a chest X-ray. It showed something that shouldn’t be there! I had a CT scan, MRI, PET scan Bronchoscopy, lung biopsy, mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy before I remembered a blood test from all those years ago, a tumour marker for ovarian cancer.
That gave us the answer, it was most likely a recurrence of my ovarian cancer.
I hadn’t had ovaries for 24 years. What did it mean? How could it be in my chest if it’s ovarian?
So many questions and fears were going through my head. I was referred to the thoracic team and found I would be having a lung resection. Surgery was very tough. Unfortunately the tumour was attached to major blood vessels and wasn’t removed completely. To be honest, I was very scared and didn’t want to be discharged as breathing was difficult, which led to panic attacks. It was impossible to lie down, even sitting on the sofa restricted my breathing.
Recuperating was a long hard journey, going up stairs was like climbing a mountain with several stops along the way! I was weak but I felt positive. I was told a hormone inhibitor was the way forward. I began the daily drug and got on with life, getting stronger and building myself up again after the trauma of surgery. Three months on, a scan showed a progression in my tumours; the tablets weren’t working for me. I would need chemotherapy.
After a few moments of panic and a few tears, I picked myself up again, said, “Right let’s get on with it” and began chemo a couple of weeks later.
It was around this time in 2018 that I found myself at The Nightingale after a friend urged me to go along. By far the best piece of advice I have ever had.
I was offered the most amazing treatments to support me through chemo. The reflexology was invaluable as the chemo was causing painful peripheral neuropathy in my fingers and feet which made walking difficult. Acupuncture also helped with the muscle tightening around my surgery scar. The gentle exercise class helped to build my strength and stamina after chemo. It was good to move again.
One of my favourites was Look Good Feel Better which deals with hair loss, skin care (chemo plays havoc with skin) and make up application. It was great to be with ladies who were going through a similar journey. We shared tips, experiences and laughed! I usually hide from a camera but the session made me feel so good that I even braved the ‘bald shot’ when I was asked to be photographed. I was amazed when I saw the photos.
Before Look Good Feel Better
After Look Good Feel Better
Talking to The Nightingale made me realise that I needed to put my needs first and concentrate on dealing with my diagnosis and what it meant for me. Although I struggled with the decision to give up my job as a Nursery Manager, once I had handed in my resignation I was so relieved.
When my maintenance treatment ended early, the two changes threw me into a panic and fear hit me again. I attended the Mindfulness course not knowing what to expect. It gave me a new way of looking at my situation, the world, at relationships and at how to use my time.
I really cannot imagine trying to get through the last few years without The Nightingale.
The ‘check in’ calls throughout lockdown were a life saver as the isolation was difficult. No longer being able to work meant I didn’t have anything but cancer to focus on. It was fine for a few weeks but lockdown was very isolating. I was glad to have a friendly voice giving me an unexpected call to say, ‘How are you doing?’.
On my birthday last year I had a telephone consultation with my oncologist, the dreaded ‘scanxiety’ hadn’t really hit me this time as I was feeling well and positive, so it was a surprise to hear that I had another recurrence! Back on the treadmill of regular hospital days, especially as the treatment has very harsh side effects, most of which decided to visit me and test my medical team!
Even when hidden by a face mask the team at The Nightingale can just tell when you’re having a tough time, such is their experience and the relationships they build with clients. I have felt for a long time that every cancer patient should have access to a place like The Nightingale because you never feel like a number there.
When I was asked to be a model for the Annual Fashion Show I answered with, ‘Oh no, I couldn’t do that’. Well, it’s fair to say, after some gentle persuasion I found myself agreeing to take part in a day that turned out to be totally fabulous! I had so much fun, was treated to a hair and make up session. It was a truly wonderful experience and I would recommend it. If you are lucky enough to be asked to model, don’t hesitate, do it!
I can’t thank The Nightingale enough for all the support they have given me; it truly is a very special place. They make a time of uncertainty, anxiety and pain so much easier.
